An Experience of this Eclipse series

My story of the recent series of eclipses -

I didn’t realize it at the time but the June 22nd New Moon in Cancer, which occurred before this series of eclipses, actually began the process that set off the beginning of a deep internal process that is still affecting me as I am beginning to see things from a new perspective. At that time, I had begun seeing an energy/body worker who seems to be an important aspect of my experiences of this eclipse series. The Lunar Eclipse on July 7th continued the deepening process and I just let the energies unfold. It was the Solar eclipse of July 21st that affected me most. It was at 29 degrees Cancer which is conjunct my Ascendant. The weekend before the eclipse I was very emotionally ungrounded and felt a weird anxiety. However, on the actual day of the eclipse I was in a great mood, open, receptive and friendlier. People even commented that I seemed exceptionally happy that day. I suspected that this might be just temporary since the eclipse was affecting by ascendant/descendent axis and had started a process of my looking at myself in my relationship to another person. Although this is a constant process it had taken on a deeper tone then usual.

The energy worker I was seeing seemed to also trigger the deeper layers and this allowed me to work through some stuff that I think I have been struggling with for a long time. Specifically, I was able to see the limitations and obstacles that I had internally created that challenged my ability to be in a certain type of relationship. My realization was that on an intellectual level I had an ideal of how I wanted to interact in a relationship but my own internal structure and energy was really not in alignment with that ideal. I had developed ways of defining certain types of interaction and interpreted them in a way that was taking away from the actual experience. I come from a very emotionally self-sufficient space and seem to lack a certain awareness in the understanding of the needs in relating. Since this was affecting my 1st and 7th house it clearly manifested as my needing to look at the polarity of ‘I’ versus ‘Other.’ And even though I wouldn’t call myself a self-absorbed person, I think there are always layers of unconciousness that I am unaware of that could potentially prevent me from seeing things clearly. It feels as if this series of the New Moon and eclipses have begun a new cycle in which I will begin to see myself and my relationship to another person very differently.